Tuesday, July 28, 2020

It’s So Not Ok



American porn star August Amas killed herself after allegedly being the victim of online bullying, a video of a tearful Keaton Jones has gone viral begging for bullies to leave him alone….another day, another story of someone ending their usually short lives because of endless taunts, cruel words, and abuse. I acknowledge there are two sides to a story, usually three, and more than often, there are other factors in play. But there is zero doubt that bullying has hit an all-time high.
If you have never been on the receiving end of online bullying, allow me to share snippets of my experience. (My crime, by the way, was dipping my toes in the adult industry (after all, I am an adult) and writing a book or two about it).


So, deep breath here goes:
“You are a whore and a slut and so repulsive I wouldn’t even shag you for free.”

“You make me sick, I hope your family disowns you and you die alone.

“You should never be allowed to be in the same room as a child.”

Or this one; short but to the point: “I hope you get AIDS and die.”

Or every time I write a column or blog post, a handful of women from the industry I tried to stick up for will go for my jugular. One even wrote a letter on social media addressed to me on why I should shut the F up. A few others chimed in, spouting venom with their vitriolic comments of hate. “Yeah, we hate Veronica..she’s not all that…she’s ugly…I hate her….” I’d never met any of these women before. My crime that time was saying publicly in my opinion men prefer nude fingernails on women to neon nails. (I am never commenting on fingernails again).
I’ve lost count the number of times well-meaning friends will call me up breathlessly and say ‘God don't read what so and so has said about you – it’s just awful, shocking…how do you cope..…”
Sure I’ve cried, I’ve felt sick with anxiety and I’ve had to stop myself from firing off responses back (not family-friendly ones).
It’s been a real eye-opener for me. I’m one of these people that thinks most people in the world are nice. I like people immediately (unless you do me wrong, and then I will never like you again).
But the fact is, not everyone is nice. There are some really, really mean people out there.
I’m a big girl, I can handle it. I’ve toughened up and there isn’t much anyone could say to me now that will get a reaction. I’ve had everything thrown at me, I’ve heard it all and I’ve dealt with it, and I am still here. The only opinions I care about are the people I love. But not everyone is strong. Not everyone can move on. And for those people being bullied, being attacked, who is the victim of hate, abuse and judgment; here are my tips for getting through it.
1. Don’t read it. It’s pretty simple but amazingly hard not to do – like slowing down as you drive past a fatal car crash. Don’t do it. You’ll see something shocking and the tiny words will feel like bullets. Close the computer and walk away. Don’t pour over every single word, agonizing over each nasty comment. At the height of my bullying, I didn’t log on for a week. I would go for a coffee, play with my dogs. What strangers were saying about me online was not my day-to-day reality. Don’t make it yours. Bullies are like sheep. They bleat on until they shuffle onto the next thing. Wait it out.
2. Don’t believe it. If I believed everything my bullies said about me, I’d be a nervous wreck. We all have that negative critical voice inside of us that tells us we’re not good enough. Having healthy self-esteem is hard enough work as it is. Don’t get sucked into other peoples’ opinions of you. They have no idea who you are. Unless you kill, rape, and abuse, you are not a bad person. Repeat after me: I am a good person!
3. Do not fire back. Giving bullies airtime and attention is the worst thing you can do. You will never win. They will never say ‘You’re right, I am wrong.’ They will take what you say and fire off even more nastiness. It’s really hard not to stick up for yourself online but you aren’t dealing with rational people. You can’t fight fire with fire. With no energy, they’ll run out of steam eventually.
4. Block. Whoever invented the ‘Block’ button deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. There is nothing quite as satisfying as deleting someone in the press of a button. My block list is longer than my arm. No one gets a second chance with me. Stop being too nice and giving bullies a second chance. Hurt me once? Bye-bye. Protect yourself from them doing it to you ever again.
5. My last point is controversial but then again, so am I. And it was a golden nugget of advice from the deputy head of a primary school. I confessed I had confronted an (adult) bully in the playground and lost my temper. “Well my dear,” she said. “Sometimes you have to punch a bully on the nose.” Not literally of course. But if it’s face-to-face, sometimes you need to give them a right royal serve back. Look them in the eyes and say your piece firmly. Nothing beats the look of shock on their face when you stick up for yourself.

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Don’t Taste The Honey Where You Make Money — Hire An Escort Instead

As the pages of history attest, power is an undeniable aphrodisiac.

As the pages of history attest, power is an undeniable aphrodisiac.
King Henry VIII, John Profumo, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, David Petraeus, Eliot Spitzer, Kerry Packer, Bob Hawke and Richard Pratt are just some of the rich, powerful and famous men who have lured mistresses between the sheets or across the office desk.
Now we have Seven West Media boss Tim Worner’s steamy affair with one of his company’s secretaries Amber Harrison.
A few things spring to mind in the wake of this sex scandal that sent Seven’s market value plummeting by $98 million yesterday.
— How come Mr. Worner never made a move on me when I worked at Seven? (Come on, where’s your sense of humor?)
— Is there any man left on this earth that can keep it in his pants?
— And finally, no matter what you think of escorts, they would never expose a client.
I have a long list of gentlemen on my books just as powerful as Mr. Worner who would be finished if I or any of my friends revealed their names. But we would never do that. It wouldn’t even cross our minds.
I could tell you about the multi-millionaire US superstar who tried to bargain me down on my fee, or the government official who wears his underpants so high they practically skim his nipples.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got some great stories. But no names are ever revealed.
And, just as much as clients want privacy; there are a lot of escorts out there living double lives who also need discretion.
Ms. Harrison allegedly received $150,000 hush money but didn’t keep it hush. Seeing an escort three times a week for a year would be cheaper than that — and discretion would be assured.
Ms. Harrison also claims there are four more women linked to him, although Mr. Worner has denied this.
I wonder how many businessmen are quaking in their shiny shoes right now? Only the stupid ones that commit the sad, old cliched sin of screwing the secretary.

Hell hath no fury like the dumped PA who is suddenly ignored in the lifts and shifted to some dark, moldy corner of the office in the hope she will go away quietly — quiet being the operative word.
Yes, Mr. Worner’s been a naughty boy. He is not the first man to taste the honey where he makes the money… and he won’t be the last.
But there is one thing that is crystal clear from this affair. Criticize sex workers all you want — we’ve heard it all before — but one thing we are not and that is home wreckers. We would never want to destroy someone’s marriage.
In fact, and some of you will balk at this, we have been known to save marriages.
We are not out to steal your husbands. Most of us have happily got rid of our own; let alone want yours.
Charlie Sheen said famously: “I don’t pay hookers for sex. I pay them to leave afterward.” Spot on, except he forgot to mention you are also playing them for peace of mind.
We don’t kiss and tell. We don’t call up wives and we certainly do not issue press releases about who we have had between the sheets.
We generally don’t fall in love with our clients. We don’t wish to cause any hurt or pain to anyone at any time —, especially women. It is not good for business and it is not an act of integrity.
So gentlemen, rather than me reading the riot act on how you need to keep it in your pants; we all know that doesn’t always happen, no matter how many times a day you meditate.
So here’s a bit of advice: may I suggest your fingers Google ‘escort’ instead of firing off flirty emails to your secretary.
It will save you peace of mind and money. We are a hell of a lot cheaper than a divorce. Trust me. I’m an escort.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Love Is Easy, But Staying Faithful? Forget It.



“Monogamy is unrealistic. Repeat after me kids, monogamy is unrealistic.”
If you haven’t seen the movie Trainwreck yet, I won’t ruin it for you, but this line features in the first five minutes of the film. Words that not just struck a chord with me, but made absolute sense.
“Love is easy, love I can do. But fidelity is a little harder,” he said.
He’s right. Love is easy. We can fall in love over romantic meals, holidays, cozy weekends cooking, and making love on crisp white sheets. You can go from single to in a relationship in a click of a button and a joint Instagram account. Who knew photos of sunsets suddenly became fascinating when you’re in love?
Forward-wind the wedding, the baby, the home, and you’ve got a family. You love your partner and they love you. Absolutely no doubt about love. Love makes people a lot of money — from wedding planners to restaurants on Valentine’s Day to manufacturers of big cuddly teddy bears.
The love we’ve got down pat.

But being faithful? If we were a little more honest with ourselves, we would admit that this bit is pretty near impossible.
If you are married and can swear without a shadow of a doubt that you and your partner have been faithful since the beginning of time and will be till the day you both die, then good on you. I salute you and what’s your secret?
But every day we read some salacious story in some magazine about some celebrity doing the dirty on his model wife; some footballer being caught with his pants down; some politician visiting brothels. Is this really news? They’ve just been caught doing what a lot of people do — look elsewhere sometimes for a bit of extra-marital intimacy.
Here are a few things I have heard from some very lovely men over the years.
“I love my wife but we no longer have sex because she lost the urge after the menopause” or “I love my wife but we have slept in separate bedrooms for the past six years” or this one that made me really feel for the guy “I love my wife but the last time she hugged me was eight years ago when the dog died”.
These men never stop loving their wives and they will stay till death do them part — but why should they or anyone be denied the right for intimacy?
People hate it when I say this, but I truly believe if physical and emotional needs aren’t being met in a relationship, it doesn’t matter how much you love that person, you will look elsewhere.
There is a reason why there are so many brothels, massage parlours, escort agencies, and private sex workers around the world who make money, a lot of money. Supply and demand. Love is a multi-million dollar business, but so is infidelity. And don’t think it’s just men who cheat. Women do it just as much. We are just more subtle.
I had a very interesting conversation on a flight back from Singapore recently with a 50-something-year-old female government official. Women being women, we got to the gritty subject of sex just as the drinks trolley was being wheeled around.
“I love my husband but he suffers terrible depression,” she confided. “So when he goes through his long bouts, I call up my friend John for fun. No one knows and it keeps me sane.”
As long as people keep getting married, the sex industry will continue to tick along nicely.
As for me and my relationships? It’s a simple click of a button: “It’s complicated.”

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Want A Woman Who Won’t Kiss And Tell? Then Pay Her


You want complete silence, you want to keep your private life private, we all do.. One of my favorite clients had his marriage destroyed after his affair of 8 years with his PA came to the attention of this wife. The PA was tired of him not committing to ger in a serious way and told the wife and not only that showed evidence. Not sure why she would that and I don't condemn that behavior but I know a type of lady that won't and that is a high-class escort. The thought would not even cross her mind. I often see gentlemen from extremely high profile jobs. “Gosh is that so-and-so?” I’d quite often think as I walk into some marble penthouse suite.
Now I have a few really high profiles clients and they don't want as much as I do their names on newsstands. 
Course not. I just don’t sell sex and intimacy. I sell discretion. I sell privacy. Kissing and telling are not good for business and it is certainly not what a lady does; not while escorting. I’ve met ‘ladies of the night’ with more integrity and values than people I know who have ‘normal’ jobs. Yes, you pay escorts to leave, but you are also paying for peace of mind.



I also don’t think men (or women) deserve to be demonized for occasionally getting their needs met from a third party. In an ideal world, we would all sit our partners down and tell them we have strayed, and that it didn’t mean anything. Honesty is always the best policy. But we don’t live in an ideal world. And if someone is going to stray, you’d rather they made it a business transaction than not.
One woman who would agree with me is my friend Tracey, a 40 something mum of two. She’s just caught her husband having an affair with a woman he met at a work conference. Not just that – she told me that she is now waiting for his decision whether to stay or go and start a new life with his new flame.
“I wish he’d been seeing an escort” she said glumly. “Then we wouldn’t be in this situation.” With an escort, there is no texting in the middle of the night, no dreamy ‘I wish I was with so-and-so..’ and certainly no ‘if you don’t leave your wife for me now I will call her up and tell her EVERYTHING.’ No dramatic phone calls on Xmas Day, no sitting in a car outside your house, and absolutely no naked photos in the press.
Escorts don’t want to run off with your husband. They don’t even remember his name. It really is, just a job. Most of us have careers, schools, boyfriends, girlfriends; a life. We don’t want to ruin someone else’s.

Onlyveronica

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Looks Do Not Matter To Me

The response I get the most when I tell people I am a high-class escort is actually not so much of a question… more of action.. A wrinkled up nose. Eurgh! What about the fat ugly men? How on earth could you get naked with them?
It often makes me smile because that’s exactly what I used to think before I dipped my toe in the industry of course.
When you’ve seen as many naked bodies as I have, when you have been intimate with as many men (I’m not just talking sex here, but conversation), your perception changes and so does your judgment. I used to be so snobby and pouty about the men in my life having the right arms, a nice mouth, and thick hair.


They had to be wearing nice clothes and cool shoes (nothing too pointy). And sure, while those things are important, they’re not a deal-breaker. What I have learn’t as a high-class escort is that no matter how unattractive someone’s body is, it is what lies inside that matters. The body is a mere shell and quite often the most beautiful people are hidden in a deformed, or just plain and ugly bodies.
I know I am not exactly giving you groundbreaking news here, but sometimes we all need reminding, especially in our society of perfectly plastic and manufactured bodies.
My favorite clients have quite often been what one would call unattractive and some of my rudest and arrogant clients are quite often the tall, tanned, and handsome ones. And believe me, one can always, ALWAYS find something nice about someone, be it their hands, their feet or their eyelashes.
So dear readers, that is why I can happily spend an hour or two naked with ‘fat ugly men’ and enjoy myself.
But pointy shoes are still a no-no. Sorry.

Friday, March 6, 2020

OPEN ME




Chapter 1



Once when I was six years old I saw a magnificent picture in a book, called True Stories from Nature, about the primeval forest. It was a picture of a boa constrictor in the act of swallowing an animal. Here is a copy of the drawing.



In the book it said: "Boa constrictors swallow their prey whole, without chewing it. After that, they are not able to move, and they sleep through the six months that they need for digestion."
I pondered deeply, then, over the adventures of the jungle. And after some work with a colored pencil, I succeeded in making my first drawing. My Drawing Number One. It looked like this:


I showed my masterpiece to the grown−ups and asked them whether the drawing frightened them.
But they answered: "Frighten? Why should anyone be frightened by a hat?"

My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. But since the grown−ups were not able to understand it, I made another drawing: I drew the inside of the boa constrictor so that the grown−ups could see it clearly. They always need to have things explained. My Drawing Number Two looked like this:


The grown−ups' response, this time, was to advise me to lay aside my drawings of boa constrictors, whether from the inside or the outside, and devote myself instead to geography, history, arithmetic, and grammar. That is why, at the age of six, I gave up what might have been a magnificent career as a painter. I had been disheartened by the failure of my Drawing Number One and my Drawing Number Two. Grown−ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.


So then I chose another profession and learned to pilot airplanes. I have flown a little over all parts of the world, and it is true that geography has been very useful to me. At a glance, I can distinguish China from Arizona. If one gets lost in the night, such knowledge is valuable.

In the course of this life, I have had a great many encounters with a great many people who have been concerned with matters of consequence. I have lived a great deal among grown−ups. I have seen them intimately, close at hand. And that hasn't much improved my opinion of them.
Whenever I met one of them who seemed to me at all clear−sighted, I tried an experiment of showing him my Drawing Number One, which I have always kept. I would try to find out, so, if this was a person of true understanding. But, whoever it was, he, or she, would always say:

"That is a hat." Then I would never talk to that person about boa constrictors, or primeval forests, or stars. I would bring myself down to his level. I would talk to him about a bridge, and golf, and politics, and neckties. And the grown−up would be greatly pleased to have met such a sensible man.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Literately incredible India

Mumbai is an amazing paradox of hope and chaos, magic and madness. Where the changing modernity of India has been experienced most intensely. From Gandhi’s arrival from England in 1915 to the protests against the Simon Commission in 1928, Bombay, now Mumbai, has been home to many key events of the freedom struggle. And the struggle continues today, the hunger for change that one can almost feel, as a tourist is hard not to be fascinated by it.



Can we start with the ridiculous cliches that portray this country and this city is such a negative light when in fact most if not all of them aren't true,  from only buy street food prepared by women as it's more hygienic, the only place worth visiting is the Taj Mahal, Indians are friendly but don't expect to be part of the family, a real pashmina will fit through a ring. Yes, boys ask for discounts. Yes, it is not the easiest place to be Veronica but I still love the madness here.