Sunday, July 2, 2017

Why Do I Even Have A Website?

This post is strictly for the gentlemen out there who are guilty of this particular faux pas: Not reading my profile. It is the pet peeve of every companion I know. We are always complaining that clients don’t read our profiles, where we list what we do, where we are, how late we work, and what the rates are. Still the phone will ring and some idiot at the other end will ask, “Aww do you just do blow-jobs?” At this point I want to bang my head against the wall, and then follow it up with banging the fool at the other end of the line’s head.

It is almost like going into a nice restaurant, looking at the menu, and just ordering the soup! WTF!

I do often wonder if clients think I put up a profile for decorative reasons, to add some local color to the web? No, it is there to inform you of some things about me and my service. To help you to decide if I am what you are looking for. It isn’t there just to provide wanking fodder and a phone number when the pictures no longer suffice and you want to be talked through your one-handed session. I can send you another number for that.

A few guidelines( yet again, doubtful they will be read):

1. Before you call an escort, try to formulate a few intelligent questions. Write them down and reread them to yourself, so you don’t sound like the village idiot with too much free credit on his phone.

2. Texts are free now. Learn to text in whole sentences. The likelihood increases that 1) I will read your text, and 2) respond to your text.

3. Spit it out! Meaning, there is basically nothing I haven’t been asked before, so just tell me what you are looking for. Trust me, your kinky fantasy is probably quite tame.

4. And maybe this is right up there with reading my profile, when you have booked, and I am giving you directions, L-I-S-T-E-N!!! There is a reason.

5. I know I am wasting my time writing this.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

My philosophy to life and escorting

It must be my age, I am getting older and obviously more introspective. God help us all. Not, being a religious sort, I am still spiritual and have moments when I reflect on things, and below I have gathered my humble view for your consideration.
No. 1 Shit happens! Would be the first tenet of my philosophical beliefs. Seriously, shit does happen, and it happens to all of us, but especially to a working girl. And the first lesson you learn, if you are to last in this game is to develop a thick skin, and do it quickly! There isnt anything that is born out more clearly daily, especially when dealing with people, read-men, horny men at that- that shit happens. Literally and figuratively.
No. 2 There in nothing you can do about shit happening! Yup, again this extends to life and escorting, when shit happens, usually there isn’t sweet fuck all you can do about it, except think quickly how to get out of the shit.
No. 3 Accept that shit happens, quickly! The quicker you accept that shit happens, the happier you will be. Seriously, you will come to discover that the Gallic shrug is your best friend for most situations. Shaking your head in disbelief is a close second, and just falling over and laughing is bringing up the rear, to round off this trifecta of things to do when shit happens.
No. 4 Control over shit happening.the quicker you accept that shit happens, and you have no control over shit happens, the less it seems at shit happens to you.

No. 5 It isn’t all about you!Stop taking things so personally! The washing machine didn’t break down, because it is pissed at you and wants to make your life difficult. The washing machine broke down because it just did!
No. 6 It doesn’t revolve around you!You are not the center of the universe! I know this comes as shock to most of my clients, when it is discovered that I am not going to jump through hoops, but funnily enough once they accept this, things just seem to flow so much easier.
No. 7 It’s too hard! just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be, your approach might just not be right for this instance. Change approaches, or perspective.
No. 8. Leave it alone! sometimes the best thing to do in some circumstances is to just leave things alone, be it an itchy spot on your bum, or a messy situation. Just doing nothing, when you don’t know what to do is sometimes the best thing. Difficult when you feel you must be in control, but it can sometimes be the best thing.

Monday, March 27, 2017


I am always on the lookout for something new and interesting in the way of lingerie, being that it is the foundation of my work, it helps to always look for something different and interesting. Not for the pleasure of the client, which is usually a given, but for my pleasure. I remember the first time I put on a pair of La Perla knickers, I felt instantly sexy, and a bit grown up. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the comfy pair of cotton girly boxers, but for the wow effect, you need to splash out for the good stuff. Spend a bit on the expensive stuff, tease and tantalize your man  or yourself for that matter.

French lingerie is often hailed as the most sexy, and the most lusted after, but I must say the English do have their own home grown brand of naughtiness that makes for some serious in the bedroom fun.