Sunday, July 2, 2017

Why Do I Even Have A Website?

This post is strictly for the gentlemen out there who are guilty of this particular faux pas: Not reading my profile. It is the pet peeve of every companion I know. We are always complaining that clients don’t read our profiles, where we list what we do, where we are, how late we work, and what the rates are. Still the phone will ring and some idiot at the other end will ask, “Aww do you just do blow-jobs?” At this point I want to bang my head against the wall, and then follow it up with banging the fool at the other end of the line’s head.

It is almost like going into a nice restaurant, looking at the menu, and just ordering the soup! WTF!

I do often wonder if clients think I put up a profile for decorative reasons, to add some local color to the web? No, it is there to inform you of some things about me and my service. To help you to decide if I am what you are looking for. It isn’t there just to provide wanking fodder and a phone number when the pictures no longer suffice and you want to be talked through your one-handed session. I can send you another number for that.

A few guidelines( yet again, doubtful they will be read):

1. Before you call an escort, try to formulate a few intelligent questions. Write them down and reread them to yourself, so you don’t sound like the village idiot with too much free credit on his phone.

2. Texts are free now. Learn to text in whole sentences. The likelihood increases that 1) I will read your text, and 2) respond to your text.

3. Spit it out! Meaning, there is basically nothing I haven’t been asked before, so just tell me what you are looking for. Trust me, your kinky fantasy is probably quite tame.

4. And maybe this is right up there with reading my profile, when you have booked, and I am giving you directions, L-I-S-T-E-N!!! There is a reason.

5. I know I am wasting my time writing this.